Opinion: Tattoos are silly

By Nevin Cornwell
You may not want to hear this, but your tattoo sucks.
I mean real hard.
Not only is it most likely sloppily done, but that skull with the eight ball eyes smoking a blunt will go out of style. Who knew?
Tattoos are subjective; each person has their own opinion. Tattoos are permanent; they will fade, they will stretch, they will shrink but they will not go away. In any ten-year period of my life, my tastes have changed dramatically. Eighteen year old me would have loved some ink from System of a Down, cover art from a Tool album, and the trendy Sublime sun on the base of my neck that was all the rage. YOLO, right?
Wrong. Had I given in to any of these terrible temptations, my current self would be forced to mentally kick my ass everyday as I looked into the mirror. It turns out nearly everything I cared about at 18 was just a passing fad.
Telling someone that the new tattoo they are showing off is bad is akin to telling someone they have an ugly baby. You just don’t do it. Nothing good will ever come from that situation. It is one of those little lies everyone is great at telling to get through each day with out completely isolating each other.
“Hey Tom, your baby is ugly!”
“Great.”
“Jane your tattoo is the worse than the Macarena.”
“Thanks for sharing.”
Now let’s all get back to work and have a productive day. Telling the truth is sometimes the worst possible idea. When you show me your tattoo I will smile and say it’s great but deep down I’m imaging you in twenty years explaining to your 15-year-old child that at one point Kim Kardashin was going to change the world and everyone was getting her faced tattooed on the calf.
There are also a few taboos that only a small fringe of the tattooed do. It doesn’t matter how great of an artist you find or how amazing your tattoo idea is, if you put the tattoo on your neck or face. Anything above the shoulders is screaming to the world that “being an employable adult is something I’m just not interested in.” The only thing I can think of when I see a face tattoo is, “oh man prison must have tough.”
The bottom line is if you are getting ink done for any reason other than to please yourself you shouldn’t do it. There have been many tats that I didn’t like until the owner told me that they were there for a deceased family member or to commemorate the birth of their child. I can get behind those because they mean something and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. And before you start sending me hate mail or tripping me in halls remember that this is America and I fully support people expressing their ideas, beliefs, or art in any way they wish that does not hurt anyone else.
So tear the sleeves off of all your t-shirts to show off those tribals your guns are sporting, just don’t ask me to like it.