After losing a loved one, grief can unite family

Bella Perez

Losing my grandma earlier this month really got me thinking about life and death as a whole. This being the first death I’ve gone through as an adult was also a very different experience. I didn’t get the luxury of being blissfully ignorant like I got to be as a kid. I was given responsibilities and I actually had to help with things like the obituary and the celebration of life preparation. And while initially I was very overwhelmed with this new responsibility I have since realized how all of that allowed me to get in touch with thoughts and feelings I wasn’t really aware of.

Losing a loved one puts a lot into perspective. And while most of the time what comes from a death is sadness or grief I have been trying to use these tragedies as a way to grow and learn. Of course, it is okay to be sad, that’s a normal emotion after losing someone but I think we can learn a lot about ourselves during the grieving process.

There isn’t much we as people all experience across the board but grief and death are things none of us are immune to or can escape from. It’s the one thing that we all have in common.

To me, it’s quite funny how often both death and grief can actually bring people together.

On multiple occasions, I have witnessed families come together again due to a death.

I think death is often used as a wake-up call for many. When a loved one dies you realize how tomorrow is never guaranteed. In my experience, it gets people to open their eyes and realize arguments or grudges that were once had aren’t that important and oftentimes were petty and immature.

It honestly amazes me to think about how grief can trump most other feelings. It’s as if the loss of a loved one can instantly make people forget their differences. They are suddenly able to cope with a loss but also heal a once-damaged relationship. There aren’t many other instances or emotions that can be so sad yet so healing.

I haven’t experienced a ton of death over the years but I do think in a very odd way some good comes from death. While it is tragic that someone has passed I think what comes in the wake of things can be really positive.

In my experience so much time after the loss of a loved one is spent reminiscing on the good times. This alone can be very healing or comforting and I’ve definitely had family members who are pretty closed off open up and share how they are really feeling.

While everyone’s grieving process is different and there isn’t a right or wrong way to feel, I think after the first emotional dust has settled it can be really helpful to embrace the positive emotions of grief and all that comes with it.

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